31 Dec It’s All About the Outcome – Creating The Life You Want in the New Year
I love a New Year. I love the feeling of a clean slate. A fresh start. I love the days and months laid out before me full of possibility. It gives me an awesome feeling of positive anticipation. I know it is a common practice to make resolutions for the coming year. I have done it myself many times. I don’t know how your resolutions turned out but I never had much luck with mine.
I think it is fantastic to want to better yourself. My resolutions were always noble: Lose 10 pounds, do more volunteer work, get a promotion, read more. The reason I had trouble achieving these resolutions is the same reason everyone has trouble achieving their resolutions – they were just arbitrary goals. I had no understanding of why I wanted those goals.
I don’t recommend resolutions for this reason. In fact, I don’t even recommend setting goals. I know that may seem un-“lifecoachy” but it is true.
First, it’s important to wrap up the past year. As you look back on the year that is over, ask yourself some important questions. “What was great about this year? What am I proud of? What did I do right?” Then move to questions like, “What could have been better? How did I contribute to that situation? What could I have done differently?” Be really honest with yourself. This is a great way to close out the year.
Now, look ahead at the New Year. Start thinking about what you want in your life this year. I recommend focusing on outcomes rather than goals. The only reason we set a goal is to get an outcome that we want. The outcome is the way we think we will feel when we do the “thing” we set out to do.
For example, If my goal is to lose 10 pounds – what is the outcome I’m looking for? Why do I want to lose weight? Because I think I will feel more fit, healthy and confident once I do. So if the outcome I am looking for is to feel more fit, healthy and confident that is what I should focus on. Feeling more fit, healthy and confident can be achieved in all kinds of ways. I can juice leafy greens, I can walk more, I can incorporate yoga or strength training in my daily routine. All of these things will help me feel more fit, healthy and confident. Eventually it won’t matter if I am 10 pounds lighter or not because I feel the way I want to feel.
Why do I want to do more volunteer work? Because I want to feel like I am helping people, contributing and that my life has meaning. That I’m making a difference. Are there more ways to get that feeling besides just volunteer work? Absolutely. I can contribute through my personal relationships or being a part of my church or other organizations. I can make a difference just by being kind to random strangers or making dinner for a friend in need.
Broadening the ways in which you can get the feeling you are looking for greatly increases your chances of success. Understanding why you want that goal is instrumental in feeling the motivated to get there.
So as you approach this year. Focus on the way you want to feel in your life. Maybe it’s healthy, loved, loveable, successful,growing. If you set your sights on the feeling, the ways to get there will show up. You will feel a sense of energy and excitement about these things you want to do instead of the wave of dread thinking about spending January on a treadmill.
Doing things that make you feel good is a great way to create the life you want and it is a hell of a lot more fun.
Happy New Year!