30 Nov Fall Is In The Air
As I am writing this I am reflecting on many things. My birthday for one which has just passed. I’m reviewing everything that made up my 36th year (good and not so good) and all that I want for my 37th year – things I want to accomplish like keeping up with this blog more frequently, painting, collaging more often. I’ve been consumed with life tasks – arguably important and necessary – but that eat up the precious time and energy I want and need to devote to my creative life. My goal for the next few weeks is to set a schedule which allows me to incorporate the vital creative time and make it automatic like eating, sleeping and running are for me. I’m finding as I have more free time and flexibility in my schedule that it gets filled. Weeks go by and I am busy and enjoying myself but not making progress on things that are important to me. I know from my coaching training and personal growth work that If I am not deciding how I spend my time others will decide for me in the form of urgent things that need my attention, social obligations and the distraction factory which is the internet and my IPhone.
The reason I am sharing this with you is to make myself accountable for following through on this. Anytime I make a decision about an action I want to take I tell people. I make it as public as possible. Part of my identity is that I am a person that follows through and keeps my word. If I tell you I am going to do something I will make good on that promise. So when I find I need a little extra motivation to get something done I tell people I am going to do and that is enough to make me get moving! It’s a strategy that really works.
I’m also reflecting on memories and thinking about the seasons of life. My dog is sick. Actually he is dying. I have a Golden Retriever and his name is Fletcher. He has been my best friend for 10 years.In fact it was on my birthday 10 years ago he came into my life. I had never loved anything like I loved this dog. Since then we have been through everything together: roommates, marriage, jobs, babies… Through it all he has been there always loving, loyal and kind. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that his time here is almost over and what that means to me and my family. I’m crying a lot and trying to be brave. I’m trying to love him enough to let him go and I am praying that he will do it on his own without me having to make that horrible decision. Right now I am feeding him treats and spending as much time as I can petting and loving him while he is still here. It’s funny to me that even though I am nearly 40 years old and have a family of my own that losing this dog makes me feel like I am a child.
So today I am grateful. I’m grateful for all of the birthdays I’ve shared with Fletcher and I am hopeful for all of the things this coming year will bring for both of us – even if we are no longer together on this earth. I’m grateful for how much he has contributed to my life and the unconditional love he has given me and my family. I’m also grateful for the reminder that life is short and that I need to honor and spend time with the people I love everyday because I never know when it might be the last opportunity to do so.
Thank you Fletcher. I love you.
In loving memory of Fletcher May 7,2002 – November 30, 2012