08 Dec Day 22 Great Friends and Some Humble Pie
It was one of my best friend’s birthday this weekend. To celebrate we went on a pedaling pub crawl through Savannah. It was great fun. As I had previously mentioned in yesterday’s post I’ve been pretty burned out this past week. I was in dire need of some fun and break from responsibility. It was a spectacular day, sunny and unseasonably warm. We had a blast. Well, up until the end of the evening when the pub crawling for nearly 5 hours on an empty stomach resulted in the loss of my basic motor skills.
I’ll spare you the gory details but I will say I have never been more grateful for great friends. They didn’t miss a beat. They scooped me up, steadied me and got me safely home with all of my belongings in tact. They were there for me when I was a mess. I’m not used to being the one who is a mess. I prefer to be the one helping other people with their mess. That is my comfort zone. It is uncomfortable for me to be out of control and to need help from other people. Now, my time of need was self inflicted and caused by a fatal rookie mistake but the love, humor and support I received from my friends really touched me. It let me know with absolute certainty that they are there for me whether I’ve got my act together or not. So this time it was just a pub crawl, but should my marriage go up in smoke or my business fail or any of the messy, painful, humbling stuff that happens in life happen, I know they have my back. And that means everything. It gives me comfort and a sense of gratitude that is overwhelming.
I think it boils down to trust. I have learned to trust that people will love and support me exactly as I am, flaws and all. That took a while. I’ve spent my life dumbing down my energy, enthusiasm, and personality to please other people – trying to be some version of what I thought they wanted or expected – and it sucks. I finally reached a point where I decided to take the governors off and just be myself. So I am loud, I talk too much, I get overly excited about things. I’m kind of like a human Golden Retriever puppy. Nice, but sometimes a little too much. And I’m okay with it. I’ve also learned that people who aren’t okay with that don’t usually end up being my friends and that the people who are, do. My people are self-selecting.
Sometimes I feel that old familiar pressure to be what I think people expect me to be. To be more appropriate. Especially being a life coach. I worry about being judged. I wonder would you really want help from someone who can’t handle a pub crawl or who tells loud inappropriate stories? Well, now I trust the answer is yes because that is who I am. I know nobody is perfect and my ability to help people has nothing to do with whether or not I hold back the dirty joke.
Great friends see the best in me. They accept me for who I am and they don’t judge me. Even on my worst day. Having people like this in my life gives me the freedom and confidence to be myself. Let me tell you there is no greater joy than being comfortable being yourself.
Humbling moments aren’t pleasant, but having an opportunity to see and feel the love and support that surrounds me sure is. It makes me grateful to be alive and completely tuned in to the fact that our relationships are, ultimately, all that really matter. And while I may not feel good about the poor judgement that got me into this particular situation, I feel great about the quality people in my life who were there to share it with me. And that makes all the difference.