09 Dec Day 23 Overcoming Fear
I wish I could find the piece of paper that had my original rough list of 30 things that bring me joy from when this idea first came to me. They were all very simple things like the smell of garlic cooking and homemade whipped cream. Somehow through this process the posts have evolved into deeper subjects kind of by accident. It has been an incredible experience for me. Mostly because I was so afraid of it.
I have had this blog for a couple of years and fear stopped me from writing it. I was afraid I had nothing to say. I was afraid I would be judged for what I did say. I was afraid people wouldn’t read it and I was afraid they would. My paragraphs are one giant run on sentence and I know that. I also know my posts would make an English teacher cry from the grammatical errors alone. But I still had the desire to do it.
Every time I hit publish I’m scared. Did I go too far today? Did I reveal too much? How is this post going to be received? Am I going to fail? All of this stuff is in my heart and my head each day when it’s time to push the button.
So today I want to say THANK YOU! A big thank you to those of you taking precious time out of your day to read my little blog and then to say nice things and encourage me – you will never know how much it means. Your support gives me courage to be braver and more vulnerable with my writing. Each day your kindness makes it a little easier to push that button. You are also helping me be braver in my daily life. as I practice overcoming fear in one area of my life it make it easier to do the same in other areas.
I tend to get stuck sometimes in life because I feel like until I can do something perfectly – I won’t do it at all. But what is perfectly? It doesn’t exist! And this rule of mine only keeps me from doing things I desperately want to do. What I’ve learned from this last few weeks of blogging is something I’ve known intellectually for a long time but hadn’t experienced personally – you just have to start. The way you get to this imagined “perfect” place is by doing. You do it, you learn, you make mistakes, you learn some more and eventually you get to the level you want to be.
The blogs I love the most – the ones I shamefully compare mine to – they are all five plus years old. I read this great quote in Where Women Create that said, “Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone’s chapter 20.” What great advice! I would simply add to it that the only way to get to chapter 20 is by starting chapter 1! Imagine where I would be blog-wise if I had started writing every day two years ago.
Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever get so fixed on how something “has” to be that you can’t even start? How much of that is just unhelpful rules you are holding on to? Nobody gets to start at chapter 20. Nobody.
Trust that if God put something in your heart that you want to do then it is for a reason and if you are brave enough to start He’s got you covered. But you have to be brave enough to start. Feel the fear, and do it anyway. All the wonderful feedback that has moved me to tears on more than one occasion would not have come my way had I not pushed the button on November 16th with this little idea. It has put me on a path of learning and adventure that is changing my life day by day.
So thank you for making that possible for me. I am so incredibly grateful. And please take a chance on what is possible for you. I promise I will be your biggest supporter!