29 Nov Day 13 I’ve Got the Power (It’s Getting, It’s Getting, It’s Getting Kinda Hectic)
If giving your power away was an Olympic sport I would have some serious gold medals! I have spent my life giving my power away to anyone that would take it. Parents, friends, boyfriends, accountants, doctors, financial advisors. Some days the UPS guy seemed like he was really on point and I thought maybe he would make better decisions than I would for my life. Giving your power away is an excellent way to avoid taking any kind of responsibility for your decisions and actions. it just takes so much pressure off! I mean how convenient that I get to be a victim AND I get to blame other people for what doesn’t work out? It’s kind of the emotional equivalent of not studying for a test so that you can say you didn’t even try when you get a bad score. It works, but it doesn’t get you very far. For me, it just felt much safer to let someone “more qualified” tell me what to do. It also saves a lot of time. If I just blindly obey everyone I don’t have to spend much time thinking, learning and thoughtfully considering my options. My hair never looked better.
The rub comes when I have to live out the consequences of being asleep at the wheel. Sure I can blame other people for why I am in the situation I am in, but I still have to deal with the situation I am in. There is no way to avoid responsibility for my own life and the longer it takes me to get this the the bigger the messes are that I have to clean up. Now, as far a joy goes, nothing will keep joy from your life like giving your power away. This I am certain about. The years I spent in the “side car” of the people in my life were years that I was not living my own life but riding along in theirs. I was defaulting to other people’s wants and needs and not considering my own. Eventually, the consequences got bad enough that I hit my threshold point and I took control over my own life. Now, do I do everything “right” and make perfect decisions all the time? Of course not. But the difference is every mistake or misstep is because of a conscious decision I made. Me. And this is what makes the difference. I am the one taking in the information, weighing it to see what choice is best for me and then acting on it. Even if it turns out to be a poor decision it was thoughtfully made and there is nobody to blame!
Blame is a cop out of the highest order. I would much rather make my own mistakes and learn from them then spend my life as a victim. Owning my power and living my life on my terms gives me great joy. Making decisions that are right for me and my family even if they are different than what other people and even experts (gulp!) think is right makes happy. I no longer get that bad gut feeling like, “I’m not sure this is right for me but they must know better.” That feeling is a signal something is off and I should pay close attention.
It boils down to being engaged in my life. If I am checked out of my life and just going through the motions I will be at the effect of other people and their agendas. If I am engaged, passionate and the one calling the shots in my life based on what I want then it’s going to be a joyful, fulfilling experience.
Where are some areas in your life that you have given your power away? Maybe in your relationship or your with your health? If I had been afraid to speak out and make bold decisions in the face of perceived authority my dad would be in the midst of treatment that would radically lower his quality of life. Having the courage to do that would not have been possible for me even a few years ago. It’s taken practice.
So start practicing today. Small decisions like not doing some things you feel like you should or have to do and doing more things that you actually want to do is a great way to start.